How Come I Am Not Famous

yes

2009-03-22T11:07:00.000-07:00

yes. i'm writing after a long time. yes. i've been out. yes. i've been keeping busy. yes to all.. i've lost the will to fight... no more of that now. i'm starting on a fresh page. glossy white. no lines. no holds barred. somebody suggested a new beginning... this is where i do it.
so what did I do today? I woke up and started shooting off messages to people who have been closer than family to me. the people whom I consider my own. who have seen me in the nerdiest of my phases n the brightest, n still perhapes liked me for who I am.
Dedicated to my friends:

my friends who are not like rain or sunshine that comes and goes away. they are like the air I breathe which I might not b able to see, but is always around me, hugging me, enveloping me....my friends make me feel like Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes that even when I'm having my weirdest "Kazaam" moments...they get it...they are a one up better in that...

all I can say is that guys... Dpk, Rags, Dips n Swaggy.. u guys r the light at the end of the tunnel for me but rite now I gues I'm passing thru a blind turn. I love you.....

Sticky Floor... Glass Celing

2008-07-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

Sure. The times, they are a-changing. Women are coming to the fore-front. They are surging ahead, taking their rightful places in the corporate world. But alas, that top position still remains a Utopia for many a woman. The glass still ain't weak enough to break through. Ever wondered why, 95-97% of senior managers, the world over are males? Thats due to the Glass ceiling, my friends. The 'Glass Ceiling’ is a barrier to prevent women rising to the highest positions in an organization as a result of informal exclusionary practices.These practices include sexual harassment, sexual discrimination and pregnancy discrimination.
While a lot of male readers would be squirming in their seats reading this, but its a glaring fact we simply choose to turn our back on.
Explanations for the ‘glass ceiling’ phenomena derive from the stereotype of womeninto traditional roles. Many men still carry the attitude despite living inthis modern day and age that women are not capable of higher managerial roles and thattheir place rightfully belongs at home along with the house-hold chores. There is also the point that many corporate firms think twice before employing women for the top position, in terms of their level of commitment, for it is inevitable that every woman will want to have a child at some point in their life. However maternity leave is viewed upon as an expense in terms of money and the valuable time that iswasted in order to fill the vacant position.
The organisational structure is another barrier that women have to contend with forit is evident that most firms are male dominated and huddle together when itcomesto after work social activities, thus leaving the woman to feel as an outcast.
Despite 30 years of professional expertise, equal to their male copunterparts, ladies still don't make it to the top positions. While there may be some women higher up in management it can be argued that these are just ‘token’ positions so that the corporate management cannot be accused of discrimination. Those few who are successful in making it are then dealt the blow of being paid substantially less then their male counterparts. This as a result shows just how wide spread theundervaluing of women’s work really is.
On the risk of sounding ultra-feminist, Women are warriors. They bleed. They cut. But they never ever cry out. And when they do. Its too little. Too late.

2008-06-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

Fly away, sail away
Sail across the troubled waters.
You conquered it all
You vanquished it all.

Go yonder the black clouds,
and look unto thee.
The light that shines in you.
The light that leads you.

Whispers softly to the winds,
Growing softer and softer,
Calmer and calmer,
stronger and stronger,
The storms within have been rested.

Tears a many have been invested,
Now the raft beckons thee.
For it has a shining light
Look yonder and you'll see
The future is much bright.

pichla janam

2008-06-19T13:04:00.000-07:00

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Jittery Viking.

Where You Lived: Ukraine.

How You Died: Killed in Battle.

href=">Who'>http://www.blogthings.com/pastlifegenerator/">Who Were You In a Past Life?

2008-06-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

I have a theory... I feel we all are about as happy as we let ourselves to be. And in relationships, this holds a lotta water. Ok, since you are pulling those confused faces at this logic, let me enlighten ye... Hold on... who knows, this might win the nobel prize or something....

The secret to a very happy relationship is... ta-da-da...(*drumroll*)... BEING YOURSELF!!!!! YIPPPEEE!!!! There. I made my point. er... ahem... Not exactly earth-quaking, eye-popping, heart-clutching revelation. But a revelation, none the less amigo.

Here goes. We should completely let go of our inhibitions while in a solid relationship. And that holds for any kind of them under the sun. Be it with your parents. Be it with your sibling. Be it with your boyfriend or spouse... Its the hang-ups that hold us back. And eventually, we spend the entire time thinking about how to impress the other person, rather than just act upon our gut feelings. You see, that other person probably knows you better than well.... you. And he/ she doesn't give a rat's ass if you are not wearing that in color of the season, he/ she doesn't care whether you..heck... let out that tiny fart. No need to go red. Just go Talking. Communication people. That's the most important key and i guess we have forgotten the combination on that lock. We keep ourselves cooped up.

Gosh! After coming to the fag end of this piece, I suddenly very agony-auntish or one of those "loove gurus" on the FM channels!!!! hehehehe

But guess, we can all do with a little love. Eh?

Dialogue

2008-03-16T08:54:00.000-07:00

Ha! And you thought I was about to write something serious eh? Well, dearies, I just couldn't resist. This came in my mail just today. And my side-stitches ache to share them with you..
Presenting words of wisdom by none other than Mithun Chokroborty himself.....

" Bheegi hui cigarette kabhi jal nahi sakti.....

aur yeh tay hai ki teri maut ki taarikh tal nahi sakti "

"Apuun ka naam hai HEERA,

Apuun ne sab ko Cheera..." (wah wah.....)

shetty: "kaun hai be tu?"

Mithun da says-

"Mai hoon tum jaise logon se nafarat karne wala,

Garibon ke liye jyoti, Gundon ke liye jwala

tuze banake maut ka Ek niwala,

tere sine mein gaad dunga mai maut ka bhala.

Mila doonga yamraj se tere ko salaaaa." (who thought poor Shetty would have to listen to beautifOOL poetry before *sniff* he got the life punched outta him??)

" kyunki ab mein Indrajeet nahi......chandaal hoon

tum chaho toh mera program note karlo

...tum sab meri diary mein mar chuke ho!

mein chahoo toh tum sabko abhi mar sakta hoon

magar abhi maarne se tumhe maarne ka credit meri bullet ko mil jayega!!!! "
( kya logic hain!!!!!!!! !,superb! )

" Main hoon Do Numbri, ek se jyaada, teen se kam

Dikhne mein bevda, bhaagne mein ghoda, aur maarne mein hathoda .... " (
amazing )

" Jitani tumane saanse li hongi, usase jyaada maine lashein girayi hai
(aaaaaiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ???????)

Mantriji:- "Ye kanch bullretproof hai.

tum mujhe chu bhi nahi sakte"

Mithun Da:-"Ye kanch bulletproof hai magar patthhar proof nahi"

AND HE BREAKS IT BY THROWING STONES ON THE GLASS. (BONK!!!)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------

And the best one…………….

Mithun da gets a bullet on his leg, Looks at the villain scornfully, calmly stands up and says-

"DUSHMANO KI LAASHON PAR BHANGRA KARNE WALA KABHI LANGDA NAHIN HO SAKTA"

" Koi Shaq..??"

Confession

2008-03-05T21:42:00.000-08:00

Wow, am I pensive or am I pensive? I think. I know. But nowadays, I’m thinking a lot. Its like become a habit, a subconscious one. Like when, you bite your nails and you don’t realize what you are doing unless someone, comments on your “bad”, “un-lady-like” behavior. Its like falling through space, thinking you are safe and its only a dream, but waking up just in time to see that you’ve fallen outta your head.

So I naturally have become really serious. I don’t smile. Which I’m hating by the way. This is a very new feeling for me. Not feeling good. Generally, I give Teletubbies a run for their money because of my chirpiness. I’m an irritant at home, because of my slapstick jokes. But that was yesterday. Today, I don’t feel good. Season change, did someone say? No, that’s not it. Let’s just say, I have done some Very Bad Stuff, which I’m feeling Very Bad about.

I broke a friend’s heart. I wasn’t their when she needed me. I was too busy making my future. I left her in the dark, with nothing to support on. I am a monster. There. I said it. I have been a very bad friend. Which I was not. A bad friend, that is. I really don’t know how to re-do (re-vamp? Re-furbish? Re-create?) the trust I’ve lost with my friend.

For a long time, I was thinking. Oh well. To bullocks with it. Why do I care? Yeah, one college mate lost. No biggie. But you know… that small voice inside your head? Behind your ear? Crawling up your veins? That little fella constantly kicked me in the shins, pulling me down to planet earth, and pulling my ears close to its mouth and telling me I M WRONG.

So here I am. Making a confession. I want my friend back. I want everything back to normal. I want sunshine. I want silly smiles on my face again. I want free from guilt.

2008-02-13T20:32:00.000-08:00

IMAGINE! What if, I could be writing this very piece on a space pod, far away from planet earth and creatures from such diverse species could be reading it rather than just you, live and enraptured. Maybe I wish too much. Or maybe.... Any takers???
Since the dawn of time, man has chosen to be curious, to seek ahead, seek beyond, of what’s right in front of him, his home, state, country and planet. Visionaries of the past like Arthur C. Clark, Jules Verne and our very own Tagore had all but jotted down the route map to space and back.
The first realization of this dream was on July 20th, 1969 when a certain Mr. Armstrong laid his foot on the moon and set the mega-event in motion. But we have come a long way from 1969! Now, who wouldn’t want to go into space without having to become an American astronaut, a Russian cosmonaut, or a Chinese taikonaut? We owe our thanks to Mr. Dennis Tito who actually curved fiction into fact. On April 28th 2001, the American businessman and NASA engineer booked the first flight ticket to space. An 8-day “vacation trip”. 5 minutes of weightlessness and back to planet-sweet-planet. Guess, how much his space ticket cost him? USD 20 million (Rs. 80 lakh, roughly)…. Phew!
Thank God, its 2008!!! Because a lot has happened over the last 6-7 years. Now there are a number of cost-effective ways under development to safely transport people to and from the space for just a fraction of what Mr. Tito shelled. Just last month, in California, British entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson and American aircraft designer Burt Rutan slid open two corrugated steel doors to reveal the two new gleaming aircrafts under the Virgin Galactic umbrella. The audience in the standing-room only crowd let out audible gasps. Christened “white-knight II” and “space-ship II” will work in tandem as a sub-orbital launch system. In just a few years, these ships will be ferrying passengers like you and I through the veil of space. And just so you know, 200 people have already lapped up the $ 200,000 ticket, and more are booking ‘em even as I write this.
That having been said, this type of mega-event does not merely sustain on hear-say alone. Admittedly, a little bit of science is also involved! A massive amount of Kinetic energy is required to push up the space shuttle, which means great expenses and no small degree of risk. And since, I am on the topic of risks, there is the huge-risk of colliding with space debris or getting calculations errors. I tell you, not something to play with folks.
But then again, the future is not a black-hole. Branson-Rutan team and a whole lot of smart guys are working on safety rates 100 times safer than government space flights.Floating in space. Weightlessness. 0-gravity. That’s’ the stuff sci-fi is made of. Not anymore! That’s another factor to consider. Although the notion is extremely exhilarating, but only people with strong hearts and physically fit will be able to board this space odyssey. Since, prolonged stay in zero gravity may cause health hazards namely space sickness, nausea, head-ache, and deterioration in skeletal structure. Yikes!!
Also, this might have crossed the your mind, including yours truly. Er… the cost of the ticket to space. Need I repeat? $ 200,000. a slight pinch in the pocket, don’t you think? However, let’s not be disheartened ladies and gentlemen! Let me point out. Just as once upon a time, our daily house-hold appliances like refrigerators, televisions and even cars, were a distant eutopia for the average family, but now only 20 years on, they are literally planted in everybody’s homes. Likewise, lets say, 20 years from now, space tourism would be an average holiday package.

Industry is clearly the buzzword for Branson. This will surely unlock a whole wall of private sector money. Just as, mobile hones and internet technologies, have reached the common man out of military origins, so will space flights reach us, hopefully in a very short time!
Anyhow, the way we are exploiting our home planet’s resources and the on-going reality of global warming and climate change, it will rather be sooner than later, we will have to ssek a fresh, un-exploited new world to inhabit. Imagine, the limitless amount of raw materials, we can tap.
In the long run, life on earth as we know it will be an ever increasing risk of being wiped out by a disaster such as sudden global warming, nuclear holocaust, or a genetically engineered virus and other dangers. So, earthians, lets open our minds, and start imagining. Lets open our eyes, and see beyond this sky. Somewhere, out there, might be our future home!

What Does Your Handwriting Say About You?

2008-01-22T06:22:00.000-08:00

You are sometimes a very energetic person, but you are sometimes quite lethargic. You're moody, prone to ups and downs, and you don't have a lot of endurance.You are reserved and not very outgoing. You are deeply thoughtful and introspective. You have a lot of control over your actions and emotions.You are balanced and grounded. You know how to get along well with others.You need a lot of space in your life, and it's easy for you to feel stifled. You avoid commitment and responsibility whenever you can.You are conservative, old fashioned, and a little stubborn. You are resistant to change.You are a decent communicator. You eventually get your point across, but sometimes you leave things a bit ambiguous.

http://www.blogthings.com/

baah.....

2008-01-19T10:55:00.000-08:00

Here I am again. Trying to pick up where I left... Shucks..this is harder than I thought... Hehehehe :)

first of all, cuz I'd forgotten wat my blog id was(can u spell DUMBBBB?)

Next, I'd forgotten what my blog looks like(can u spell MOOOOOO???)

anyways, I realised I dont need to impress anyone by my snappy writing style.... I just need to keep punching the keyboard... Hoping some words of sense or non-sense would come out, make you frown, make u laugh, or (hope not!!!) make u growl!!!

Armegeddon

2007-06-24T00:31:00.000-07:00

Parvez’s wedding reception today. Before, I allow my untamed (potty-untrained) to rum amok, let me explain who Parvez is.He’s a batch-mate. Good friend. decent guy. So yeah, now that you’ve the idea, he also happened to take a lot of pain to invite Sia and me for today’s ceremony. Literally. He fell off his bike, while coming to post the invitations. Called up. Sent card by courier, called up again to ensure that it reached et al. so, obviously, I went gaily.

Fantastic!!! Extravagant!!!! Lavish!!!! Words failed me when I reached there though. OOOH!! By the way, in Muslim weddings, they have a partition between me and women. Hmmmm… anyways, Parvez, there he was with his wife( Ouch!! Feels weird, saying that. After all, he’s my age.), on the stage, looking harassed, already with lots of aunties, taking turns at pinching his cheeks and kissing his wife (ouch!!! Again!!)

GREAT FOOD!!!! AWESOME SETTINGS!!!

Oh by the way, I drove at night, which was a abso-blood-lutetly B-E-A-uuutiful feeling….He he he.

Cheers dude. May you have a happy, long-lasting life....

ouch!

2007-05-22T08:36:00.000-07:00

WHERE ARE ALL MY PREVIOUS POSTS??????

CAN'T FIND THEM ON MY PAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHH!

Status Quo

2007-05-03T07:25:00.000-07:00

Man oh Man! Life changes so fast. Oh wait! That's not right. perceptions, feelings, emotions- all futile, freakingly dynamic things.. They change faster than you can say Edward deBono. Take today, for instance, who would have thought, eh?

Oh, I'm not making myself clear, for my own comfort. Before I allow my untamed(potty-untrained) mind to ramble on, i should cite that all following words are going to be- bLAH!

The call, 7:47 pm. Went over to meet it. Maach-bhaath. Shorse baata maach, my favourite. with a little less salt. Smoke. Smoke-screen. A haze. Look past it and I see tears. The river of depression. Promotion-AAD. Emotion.

QED: Its not right. Going at break-neck speed towards the sky and then falling down with nothing to cushion you.

Said it: I have a family to look after. My career in front o me. Heck, possibly the most important year, round that ubiquitous corner.

And I let out a sigh of relief. A long, overdue, over-suppressed sigh.

So I don't know where I am and where I want to be, or go, or as if that matters.
As far as I know, the death of communication happened... today.

DRAT THE PENGUIN!

2007-04-24T01:35:00.000-07:00

I live in a colony where, thankfully, people are culturally inclined. Consequently, we have lots of events, activities, programs and what-have-you in our "paadaa"....
So current goings on are a Book Fair, in accordance to the beginning of a new Bengali year.
Now the thing about book fairs are that they are KLPD, as a worthy friend aptly put it!
Point to be noted melaard!!! That abbreviation is not necessarily not my vocab.
Anyways, coming back to the point, books are nice, they are beautiful. They call me. The entice me... Laughing, cuz I cant reach them, due to me meager savings. Ergo, I'm sad. Depressed. more like it.
Boo Hoo.. etc

Some of the damnest best books that India has produced are by Penguin... And I cant afford the penguin.
So here's another inspiration coming your way by yours truly:
Drat the Penguin,
Drat the Penguin.
oye hoye penguin teri manmaani...
Drat the Penguin,
Drat the Penguin.

Sheesh... my life. Hmm

THE FORTRESS

2007-03-14T01:21:00.000-07:00

For I've a fortress around me,
surrounding, closing, binding, enclosing.
For I've been building it a while,
slowly, carefully, painstakingly, deliberately.

The walls engulf, the walls hold,
The walls calm, the walls scold.
A torrent of emotions inside waiting to let go,
The walls, controlling, willing to attack my foe.

For the wall is the mask, the veil,
It disguises the passions within, the gale.
For once in a while, it puts an emotion or two in the gallows,
The voices, inherent, screaming from the hollows.

The walls protect, the walls guide,
The walls preserve, the walls hide.
A fragile beast encumbered, sleeping,
Shouldn't let go, the walls dictating.

For now, the walls of the fortress wither,
weak, tremor, shudder, powerless.
Something corroding, eating away at the wall,
Noxious, malicious, venomous...

The fortress has been a friend, a confidant,
A comrade, a martyr.
The beast wakes up now, to say to all,
I can do without, I can do sans the wall.

For what matters is not the poison,
But the actuality of it seeping unto me.
For now, I realise, I sans fortress, sans walls,
Who will be my salvation, to save me?

By the way...

2007-02-03T00:27:00.000-08:00

Its Febuarary..... So I guess a
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!! HOOOOOO, YIPPPPPEEEEEE and etc are in order...
And also, realised my blog silently and inconspicuously turned 1 year old, with no fuss, no mess. it did not turn up at home drunk. So i'm happy. she's happy. Everybody's happy.
Ahem.
and oh yeah.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMELIA!

Just a thought...

2007-01-07T02:53:00.000-08:00

Memories seem to be such a waste. Useless things stored up, it seems to me at times. Sad memories always make you sad. But ever realised how even happy memories can make you sad when everything ends unpleasantly...?

2006-12-05T00:41:00.000-08:00

She felt a seering pain,
rushing through her bosom.
And who would have thought,
that her life was, but wholesome?

She envelopes herself in,
her world of shadows.
wishes and ambitions crying out,
to her like ancient widows.

She wants to tell the world
of her pain, scream, screech, wail, shout.
But will anyone listen,
without a poundage of doubt?

She resigns herself to her fate
her story left, untold.
Still, crouching, mingling, with the dark
Letting herself unfold.

She is the divine creation,
consumed in her misery,
oh! what a paradoxical irony,
the creator of man, killed...
because she is... SHE.

And also SPIDER MAN 3.

2006-11-16T21:14:00.000-08:00

YIPEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! etc

X-3 is coming out.....

2006-11-11T02:06:00.000-08:00

Whoever thought Jodie Sweetin was dead...

2006-10-31T01:58:00.000-08:00

Ex-Full House Star: I Was Hooked on Meth
WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 01, 2006 02:55PM EST

By Stephen M. Silverman

Former Full House actress Jodie Sweetin has made startling admission: she once had a daily methamphetamine habit.

The problems began when Full House ended its run in 1995, the actress told Good Morning America on Wednesday. "There is a certain sense of loss when a series ends. It is kind of hard to figure out who you are when you've lost your job at age 13, when that was basically how you identified yourself," says Sweetin, 24, who played Stephanie Tanner on the series.

Seeking a "normal" life, Sweetin attended high school and college, and was married by age 20 – to a Los Angeles policeman. But two years ago, feeling bored and being unemployed, she says she began experimenting with drugs and got hooked on meth.

After a three-day "lost" weekend, reportedly followed by an intervention staged by her former Full House costars Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, John Stamos and Bob Saget, Sweetin checked herself in to the Promises rehab facility for six weeks of intense treatment.

Sweetin now owns up to "living a total double life," she tells GMA. "I was married to a police officer – we are going through a divorce right now – he had no idea."

As for the future? "I want to make movies, TV series, wherever the career takes me," she says. "I really hope this isn't the last people hear of me. In fact, I would like to make this a footnote in my career, not the end."

P.S. I'M VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT THE TOPIC.

MADNESS

2006-09-07T06:52:00.000-07:00

Its been long since I wrote last. An able friend of mine reminded me of the joys of writing, and also reprimanded me on being "one un-original single wheat female" if I remember correctly...
Well, I have been walking. Not, well I admit, all the time, but yes most of the time. I have been on a trip. To the most far off places and back. I have been away with my body, my soul and I feel I can now return peacefully back to earth. I did write about "My trip to Varanasi" and also Ajmer. But that wasn't all. I had seen death, and now I was restless.
I took off like a sphinx spreading her wings far and wide and soaring above all. I was a prisoner of my agitated essence. I took off. I escaped.
Now I'm back. I can rest. My bird is peaceful.
It was maddening, I tell you. I had to prove to myself that I was still alive.
I had to flap my arms and legs, jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore I must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or else I am not alive.
So here I am, back. Again.

PART 1

2006-08-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

Daddy's flown across the ocean

Leaving just a memory

A snap shot in the family album

Daddy what else did you leave for me

Daddy what d'ya leave behind for me

All in all it was all just a brick in the wall

All in all it was all just bricks in the wall...

running currently in my head...

2006-08-06T06:09:00.000-07:00

St. Anger 'round my neck

St. Anger 'round my neck

He never gets respect

St. Anger 'round my neck

You flush it out, you flush it out

St. Anger 'round my neck

St. Anger 'round my neck

You flush it out, you flush it out

He never gets respect

Fuck it all and no regrets

I hit the lights on these dark sets

I need a voice to let myself

To let myself go free

Fuck it all and fuckin' no regrets

I hit the lights on these dark sets

Put down your noose, I hang myself

St. Anger 'round my neck

I feel my world shake

Like an earth quake

It's hard to see clear

Is it me? Is it fear?

I'm madly in anger with you

And I want my anger to be healthy

And I want my anger just for me

And I need my anger not to control

And I want my anger to be me

And I need to set my anger free

Set it free

guess who's back...

2006-07-11T00:54:00.000-07:00

Hey all, I am back. Back from the dead, most probably. But more importantly, I am here to say, and not to run away again...
see ya here, soon... very soon...

2006-05-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

The second trip was to Ajmer.
That was my nani's barsi. Don't wanna talk about it, so leave it. Thimma, may the sweetest soul rets in peace.

Miss me?

2006-05-25T21:49:00.000-07:00

So I was not in town. That having been said, I think I can leave the rest to all the great story-tellers out there.
But no! I do want talk about it...
First lets talk about how I feel right now...
1) drowsy
2) silly smiles on my face
3) pain in the back

But pain is good. The last month was a journey for me.

The first trip was to varanasi.
That was for a wedding. My aunt happened to get married. My aunt. My inspiration. She is 35, charmingly refreshing, funky, and very career-wise,wise. She did not want to get married, but the Family finally caught with her. And there she is, out in Vaanasi, wedded.

And your point is?

2006-04-18T03:42:00.000-07:00

So you think you have had
Enough of metaphors?
Well, be relieved.
Let me give a break,
To your brains sore.

So you want to snatch,
Away my poetic license.
Boiled enough, ready with,
Knives to dice and mince.

So you think you've had,
enough of hard-core sadness.
Funny, don't you think,
I write about mirth, wrapped
in a joke mess?

But let me at least,
Bring my case to point.
I am trying to be a poet,
Its my job to anoint.

It is I, who let you,
Rediscover imagination.
To put a smile to your lips,
With many of my creation.

So lets not be melodramatic,
Put your voices in joint.
Wrap an albatross around my neck,
To bring your case to point.

Love to hate me,
Hate to love me.
All I say is...
BEWARE!!!

I am here to say,
I'll not plead on bent knee.
But I rest my case,
with a justified plea.
Don't get confused,
Its just the way-
You are you
and I am ME!!!

hmmm... Again!

2006-03-29T20:15:00.001-08:00

I was thinking... Ya I know, earth-shattering, calamity, sky-tearing, land-mark in history and all that. But still, I maintain, I was thinking... Here are a few thoughts which are running through my mind...

1) Can I make a candle out of ear-wax?
2) The children who act in "A" rated movies, are they allowed to see them?
3) Do stairs go up or down?
4) "Cute as a button"... Is that supposed to be a compliment??? Since when are buttons cute?
5) Why do we have to wash behind our ears? Whoever even looks there, except mum, off-course, but that was like when you were 5 years...
6) Why doesn't the hair on your limbs other than the head grow split-ends?
7) Why is it always like, you know, "as they say", who ARE they?
8) If electricity comes from electrons, then does morality comes from morons?
9) If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
10) Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

WOMEN

2006-03-18T20:13:00.000-08:00

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they
are
nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up for injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer when they
believe
there is a better solution.

They go without new shoes so their children can
have
them.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when
their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a
new
marriage.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They have sorrow at the loss of a family member,
yet
they are strong when they think there is no
strength
left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken
heart.

Women come in all S I Z E S , in all c o l o r s
and
shapes .

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to
show
how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world
spin!

Women do more than just give birth.

They bring joy and hope.

They give compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and
friends.

Women have a lot to say and a lot to give.

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious
gynecological disorder excuses.

Taxis stop for us.

We don't look like a frog in a blen! der when
dancing.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The
Speedo.

We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever
touching her rear.

We never have to reach down every so often to
make
sure our privates are still there.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without
having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware
that we look like an idiot.

There are times when chocolate really can solve
all
your problems.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at
their shoes.

We can make comments about how silly men are in
their presence, because they aren't listening
anyway.

Educational hang-over

2006-03-10T21:08:00.000-08:00

Woke up at 5 in the morning. Oh, it feels like I won a war or..... That close. I mean it is a HUUUGE achievement. I would like to thank my parents for their immense support. I would also like to thank my alarm clock, for not disappointing me. Now, I should probably stop. Hee hee. :)

That probably because I got the educational hangover. Sure, I'll go on and explain the term. In my vocab, its when you studied so much that you know you are full to bursting. You wanna puke it all out. But the auspicious time hasn't yet come. Its gonna be the dawn of my exam day, when it will be all out....

In case, you are still wondering, MY SEMESTER EXAMS ARE COMING UP. I am not the kinda gal, who has already done, like her tenth revision. No, thats Jyotika (BITCH!!!) Its me, poor old me. The simple( or not) girl.

The best episode in the history of my college life

(you don't have to be a history student, though. Its present tense. I am in my 2nd year)
My pa went to college to submit my fees. He met up with the dean, off course for a little chit-chat about the little birdy called Madhulika.

Oh, and girl she went for it. She was like,...
exact reproduction of words---
"oooooooooh!!! Madhulika is absolutely a sweetheart!Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!! She is one of the best students here! Oh, Mr. Banerjee, you can't imagine how proud we are of her. We give her example to the coming generations of freshers. Ooooooooooh and aaaaaaaaaaaah."
"But,(here we go...) there's just this one problem. She has lost the zeal to work. She is distracted. She is bunking too many classes. She is going out for a movie, once almost every week. She has lost her drive. Blah blah blah blah blah!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Now for the counter-points from my side, which I couldn't do earlier in front of oooh-aaaah dean...

1> The ooooohs and aaaaahs of my respected dean, were solely meant to be a genuine joy of my antics.

2> I ask you, isn't it , duh, NORMAL, to bunk classes once in a while. Especially, those, which can make you a dead man(ahem, woman) walking, after class?

3> How the hell does she assume, that I go for a movie once every week? Had
I invited her somehow?

4> Oh, by the way , as if I have this giant fortune to go spend it all. ( which I wouldn't mind much, IF it were true)

Its been hell and fury at home since. Hell hath no fury like a father, pricked. I 'll say.

So, moral of the story. I have been in my room for most of the time during the last few days, studying... And the only thing thats revolving around my head right now, apart from, Creative destruction, discontinuous opportunity, business plan, graphs....... Is
" I've become so numb"....
Droool fellow rockers, droool.

Hope, Mirth, Light, Joy

2006-03-04T22:22:00.000-08:00

But then I find myself,
Telling me to go on.
Something deep inside,
Urging me to hold on...

That's why I know,
I'll make it.
That's why I show
You, that I dream it.

Under all those dark clouds,
I find me, a silver lined hope.
Under, the past in shrouds,
I found a single thread to grope.

To bring me,
Back to now...
And all thanks to Him,
To show me how.

Cuz, now I know where I am,
And, where I need to be...
And that is my road,
My destiny...

Clearing the poop, ahem, I mean, oop!

2006-03-03T21:33:00.000-08:00

My last, was, by far, the most spontaneous, most enraged post ever. Now, after all these days and all those mind-blowing comments from everybody, I am settled into a state of self-knowledge.
First up, a BIG sloppy kiss and a bear hug to everyone, for being so supportive... I was thinking of giving up blogging... GIVING UP BLOGGING!!! My pet rat's ass, I would give up blogging!
Its like, my world(namely the Family) had closed in around me, demanding an explanation. I was interviewed like a convict. I was not given a chance to turn hostile... :p
Anyways, not to take up your time anyfurther, I wouldn't go down so easily. No, I won't give up, I won't give in...(reminds you of a song, doesn't it ?) :)

Halaluuyah, I AM BACK!!!

Shattered...

2006-02-27T23:29:00.000-08:00

My ma just came back from this jyotishi, and had very troubling news...Apparently, he can tell about a person's personality without even seeing or meeting him or her. He just requests for the birthdate of the person.
The seer had this to say about me:-
1) I am in love with a man. He is a non-bengali, unlike me. And he is of bad charecter.
I might make some mistake (i.e. sleep with him or something) if I am not careful enough.
2) I am not focused at all, on my goals.
3) I am too fickle-minded.
4) I will do well in the line of journalism.
5) These ups and downs will continue to happen in my life, till I turn 24 years.

Ok, I am too shattered and broken to continue any further. But still I am trying hard not to fall to pieces.

Because, after this incident my mother is on me to reveal my secrets. When , actually there are none.

1) I am not in love with anybody, presently.
2) I am out of focus. God forbid the day I stop being focused, I will seize to breathe.
3) Right now, the only thing on my mind is MBA.

I am burning from within. I am angered. I am provoked.

Right now, I feel there is no need for me to continue with blogging, if they say its distracting me from my path.

To Me or not to Me.

2006-02-24T19:59:00.000-08:00

Ok, here I go again... I couldn't think up a better title for this one. But, its just abstract... Life's little quirks, when you just wake up in the morning and it hits you. ZAP!!! This poem was that, for me...

Singing in the showers,
Taking note of the hours.
And what do I find,
May not be even mine.

To tell you the truth,
I don't know myself.
I don't know who got up,
In my bed, in my shoes.

Running along the stream of life,
I see my reflection(or is it?).
Through someone's eyes.
Through someone's mouth,
I hear my name,
Calling from afar.

Then I run back to me,
or to someone who,
May not ever be me.
Cuz, guess what,
Its hard to be me...

Up, up and away!

2006-02-20T06:27:00.000-08:00

Guess who just came
to the rescue?
No, not Superman, not God,
Thankyou.

The one, the only one,
who will be there for you.
The one you can't get rid of.
So, start thinking...(hmmmm)
Pause for a moment,
Look around...

Spot that one?
I know you can't
Cuz there's none.
I know you can't
Cuz I just realised...
The one.

Turn back home,
and step inside
Look in the mirror
And rub your eyes,
who's there?
But the one is...but you.

hmmm...

2006-02-13T06:10:00.000-08:00

So yesterday and a lot many days before, I have been having these copyrightable with my dad. About what, you dare ask?What do you think but, Off course about my career, my path, my enlightens.... My destiny. It went somewhat like this:-
dad: girl, can I talk to you for a few minutes?
me: sure dad, what's up?
dad: seems like we haven't talked for days.
me: can't say that we haven't!
dad: ok, so what are you thinking?
me: right now, about setting the table and having a good dinner, doing the dishes,and then my homework, and then...
dad: ok, stop, that's alright, I meant your future, what are doing about that?
me: well... I have kinda made up my mind...
dad: hmmm hmmm go on....
me: see, I wanna do my MBA after my graduation preferably from India.
dad: have you given any thought to which university you wanna join?
me: oh yeah right! But don't you think, its the other way round? The university chooses me, not I select it.
dad: That's not entirely true, sweetheart. You have to have a plan, a strategy, a method.
me: wow, dad. I didn't know we were preparing for the war!
dad: don't get funny with me, Bittu(thaws my nick-name. For the un-initiated).
me: I am sorry dad. I just have made up a plan, yes.
dad did smile after that. And do you know how wonderful it feels to see a smile on your parent's face when they beaming at you?
AWESOME!!!

But hey! I know what to do with my life!
I am gonna be a rich girl! Simple. Short. Sweet.
No, that's not a false, icky, girl sentence. I am gonna do it. The question is how? No, the question is how fast. I have got the motivation. That's all alright. But maybe,I need a little more. I need a fire. A spark, to send me up in the sky. And I know nobody is gonna do it but me. I need to stoke it myself.
I need to tell the world that I have it in me to make it big. Let me share something else with you too. I AM SCARED OF THE GLASS CEILING PHENOMENON. You know, its kinda a jargon, sorry I used it. But, had to. It means that its been demonstrated from aeons that women aren't allowed to take top-positions in the corporate world. There's literally a glass-ceiling or a wall between a woman and that CEO post.
I don't want that. India is growing so should the norms.
See, I am not the bra-burning types, but a girl's gotta raise her voice when she's got to!
Maybe I'll will reach there. So, adios, see you on the other side.

LIfe, I'm home!

2006-02-06T22:28:00.000-08:00

Yes, life is a journey. That I agree upon. But there is more to it. There are train stations, busstops, tourist spots, heck, tourist spots too, on the way! We just like to sit it a while and take a moment to define it, then... move on. Man has after all very -short-term memory.

Enjoy life, that should be put up in banners across the world. There's plenty of time to be dead. Life, what we sweetly like to call ours, may not be here tomorrow, to define. Its all a circle. A huge gaping circle. But hey who's whining? And don't you dare point any fingers anywhere!

The good and the bad which we so talk about are nothing but our creation. The good is not seperated from the bad and vice-versa.. They are one and they different.. But off-course, one should remember that it is not always black-n-white. There's something in between that's grey, and I'm not talking about a paint spillage on a M.F. H ussain!

My life is my purpose, my aim, my mission statement. What lies ahead of us, and what lies behind us are tiny and miniscule to what's within us. I would also like to mention at this point- "The purpose of life is a life of purpose".

Ah yes, poor old life being compared to nth number of things in the universe. But as somebody very wisely (or wise-cracked? shall we say?) said, life is a video-game. Now that's questionable. I believe in the unexpected, the undetermined, the uncalled, but not necessarily the unwanted. A video-games doesn't have those. But life does.

Life is wasted on the living. They spend way too much of their time philosophising about it.. I on the other hand love living. For myself. For others. For spirituality.

I say, finish every day and be done with it. I have done what I could, some blunders crept in. Forget about them as soon as possible. Tomorrow is a new day. A new life.

In conclusion, I would like to say I'll never be bullied into silence. I'll never allow myself to be made the victim. I'll accept no one's definition of my life. I define it myself, thank you very much.

Mindgames

2006-01-15T06:27:00.000-08:00

Angels cheering out to me,
As I lay back in my womb.
Demons leering out at me,
As I lay back in my tomb.

Dreaming, hoping, dying for,
A new lease of life.
Cuz my present has been,
Minced by the jeering knife.

Oh! the past that's past,
Swept away by the time.
Never been roses all the way,
have been white lilies too.

Learning, thinking, picking up,
the pieces, which I'd left,
Don't know where I'd abandoned them,
but, trying to go back with deft.

The Demon Inside!!

2006-01-14T09:52:00.000-08:00

The Demon Inside!!

SHE

2006-01-13T22:11:00.000-08:00

She felt a seering pain,
rushing through her bosom.
And who would have thought,
That her life was but wholesome?

She envelopes herself in,
Her world of shadows.
Wishes and ambitions crying out,
For her like ancient widows.

She wants to tell the world,
Of her pain, scream and shout.
But will anyone listen,
Without a gram of doubt?

She resigns herselfto her fate,
Her story left untold.
Still, crouching, mingling with darkness,
Letting herself, unfold.

She is the divine creation,
Enveloped in her misery.
Oh! what a paradoxical irony,
The creator of man-child, killed...

because she is a SHE....

"Forward!"

2006-01-12T00:15:00.000-08:00

Swami Vivekananda
12.01.1863- 04.07.1902

his clarion call to the youth:

"We want infinite energy, infinite zeal, infinite courage
and infinite patience; then on;y will great things be achieved."

A greatful nation pays homage to
Swami Vivekanada

Past Imperfect

2006-01-11T03:26:00.000-08:00

Thinking of the past that's gone,
Washed away, swept away,
Gearing up for the new sun.

Still sitting alone, in my corner,
Engrossed in my thoughts.
The life's greatest adventurer,
trying to recede into a dot.

People ask, oh yes, they do.
They need brain fodder, don't they?
Pepper to spice up their tongues,
To woo...

They try to ask,
What happened,
"What went wrong?"
The effervescent stain
-The question
Yup, its gone last for long.

Life's not unfair,
No, never has been.
Sure the cost of living,
Has risen,
And I still haven't.

Phoenix, my past is,
rising above the city din.

Welcome

2006-01-09T16:42:00.000-08:00

Glory is a poison, that can only be taken in small doses.

Today we have bigger houses and smaller families.
we have more degrees and less common sensee.
More knowledge, but less application.

WE have multiplied our possessions
reduced our values.
WE talk too much, laugh too little,
lie too often.

WE have taller buildings , but shorter temperatures.
we have conquered outer space,
not inner space...

So, these were some select line from one of the e-mails I got long time back.
I love this lines. If anybody has any ideas about who exactly wrote them, please
contact me.
I know its a long shot... But what the hell? I am the eternal optimist!