Monday, February 27, 2006

Shattered...

My ma just came back from this jyotishi, and had very troubling news...Apparently, he can tell about a person's personality without even seeing or meeting him or her. He just requests for the birthdate of the person.
The seer had this to say about me:-
1) I am in love with a man. He is a non-bengali, unlike me. And he is of bad charecter.
I might make some mistake (i.e. sleep with him or something) if I am not careful enough.
2) I am not focused at all, on my goals.
3) I am too fickle-minded.
4) I will do well in the line of journalism.
5) These ups and downs will continue to happen in my life, till I turn 24 years.


Ok, I am too shattered and broken to continue any further. But still I am trying hard not to fall to pieces.

Because, after this incident my mother is on me to reveal my secrets. When , actually there are none.

1) I am not in love with anybody, presently.
2) I am out of focus. God forbid the day I stop being focused, I will seize to breathe.
3) Right now, the only thing on my mind is MBA.


I am burning from within. I am angered. I am provoked.


Right now, I feel there is no need for me to continue with blogging, if they say its distracting me from my path.

Friday, February 24, 2006

To Me or not to Me.

Ok, here I go again... I couldn't think up a better title for this one. But, its just abstract... Life's little quirks, when you just wake up in the morning and it hits you. ZAP!!! This poem was that, for me...





Singing in the showers,
Taking note of the hours.
And what do I find,
May not be even mine.




To tell you the truth,
I don't know myself.
I don't know who got up,
In my bed, in my shoes.




Running along the stream of life,
I see my reflection(or is it?).
Through someone's eyes.
Through someone's mouth,
I hear my name,
Calling from afar.




Then I run back to me,
or to someone who,
May not ever be me.
Cuz, guess what,
Its hard to be me...

Monday, February 20, 2006

Up, up and away!



Guess who just came
to the rescue?
No, not Superman, not God,
Thankyou.


The one, the only one,
who will be there for you.
The one you can't get rid of.
So, start thinking...(hmmmm)
Pause for a moment,
Look around...


Spot that one?
I know you can't
Cuz there's none.
I know you can't
Cuz I just realised...
The one.


Turn back home,
and step inside
Look in the mirror
And rub your eyes,
who's there?
But the one is...but you.

Monday, February 13, 2006

hmmm...


So yesterday and a lot many days before, I have been having these copyrightable with my dad. About what, you dare ask?What do you think but, Off course about my career, my path, my enlightens.... My destiny. It went somewhat like this:-
dad: girl, can I talk to you for a few minutes?
me: sure dad, what's up?
dad: seems like we haven't talked for days.
me: can't say that we haven't!
dad: ok, so what are you thinking?
me: right now, about setting the table and having a good dinner, doing the dishes,and then my homework, and then...
dad: ok, stop, that's alright, I meant your future, what are doing about that?
me: well... I have kinda made up my mind...
dad: hmmm hmmm go on....
me: see, I wanna do my MBA after my graduation preferably from India.
dad: have you given any thought to which university you wanna join?
me: oh yeah right! But don't you think, its the other way round? The university chooses me, not I select it.
dad: That's not entirely true, sweetheart. You have to have a plan, a strategy, a method.
me: wow, dad. I didn't know we were preparing for the war!
dad: don't get funny with me, Bittu(thaws my nick-name. For the un-initiated).
me: I am sorry dad. I just have made up a plan, yes.
dad did smile after that. And do you know how wonderful it feels to see a smile on your parent's face when they beaming at you?
AWESOME!!!


But hey! I know what to do with my life!
I am gonna be a rich girl! Simple. Short. Sweet.
No, that's not a false, icky, girl sentence. I am gonna do it. The question is how? No, the question is how fast. I have got the motivation. That's all alright. But maybe,I need a little more. I need a fire. A spark, to send me up in the sky. And I know nobody is gonna do it but me. I need to stoke it myself.
I need to tell the world that I have it in me to make it big. Let me share something else with you too. I AM SCARED OF THE GLASS CEILING PHENOMENON. You know, its kinda a jargon, sorry I used it. But, had to. It means that its been demonstrated from aeons that women aren't allowed to take top-positions in the corporate world. There's literally a glass-ceiling or a wall between a woman and that CEO post.
I don't want that. India is growing so should the norms.
See, I am not the bra-burning types, but a girl's gotta raise her voice when she's got to!
Maybe I'll will reach there. So, adios, see you on the other side.

Monday, February 06, 2006

LIfe, I'm home!


Yes, life is a journey. That I agree upon. But there is more to it. There are train stations, busstops, tourist spots, heck, tourist spots too, on the way! We just like to sit it a while and take a moment to define it, then... move on. Man has after all very -short-term memory.

Enjoy life, that should be put up in banners across the world. There's plenty of time to be dead. Life, what we sweetly like to call ours, may not be here tomorrow, to define. Its all a circle. A huge gaping circle. But hey who's whining? And don't you dare point any fingers anywhere!

The good and the bad which we so talk about are nothing but our creation. The good is not seperated from the bad and vice-versa.. They are one and they different.. But off-course, one should remember that it is not always black-n-white. There's something in between that's grey, and I'm not talking about a paint spillage on a M.F. H ussain!

My life is my purpose, my aim, my mission statement. What lies ahead of us, and what lies behind us are tiny and miniscule to what's within us. I would also like to mention at this point- "The purpose of life is a life of purpose".

Ah yes, poor old life being compared to nth number of things in the universe. But as somebody very wisely (or wise-cracked? shall we say?) said, life is a video-game. Now that's questionable. I believe in the unexpected, the undetermined, the uncalled, but not necessarily the unwanted. A video-games doesn't have those. But life does.

Life is wasted on the living. They spend way too much of their time philosophising about it.. I on the other hand love living. For myself. For others. For spirituality.


I say, finish every day and be done with it. I have done what I could, some blunders crept in. Forget about them as soon as possible. Tomorrow is a new day. A new life.


In conclusion, I would like to say I'll never be bullied into silence. I'll never allow myself to be made the victim. I'll accept no one's definition of my life. I define it myself, thank you very much.